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holistar
Location: Infirmary
〈A few hours later〉
Aira: (............)
(—Ah, I fell asleep.)
(Fufu. I slept well for the first time in so long. Maybe I was able to calm down and relax because I had a chat with Tattsun-senpai before I fell asleep. )
(Papa gently lulled me to sleep and I went to beddy-bye. What am I, a baby?)
(Anyway, I guess it was worth it to come all the way to the ES infirmary, huh.)
(Sagami-sensei is now a part of the Producer Association, so he isn’t working at the Yumenosaki infirmary full time anymore.)
(Sagami-sensei was super chill, but the new guy is totally strict and serious...)
(He gets mad when us students skip class in the infirmary and says stuff like, “It’s a student’s duty to study.”)
(That’s “correct”, but some people can’t be saved just by doing what’s correct.)
(Besides, sleeping in the classroom is out of the question. I got all famous from MDM, so it feels like everyone has their eyes on me...)
(Especially since our test results came out, and now everyone knows I got a terrible score.)
(I always feel like everyone around me is laughing at me.)
(Like, “You’re just an underachiever after all”, “And yet everyone’s making a big deal out of you just ‘cause you’re in this up-and-coming new idol unit”.)
(“Don’t push your luck”, “Why do you get this opportunity?”, “It’s not fair that it’s just you!”)
(It feels like they’re all saying things like that... I’m sure I’m just imagining it though, all of my teachers and classmates are nice people.)
(But, behind everyones’ smiles, I feel like there are some nasty emotions swirling around.)
(After all, I’ve been that way for a while. I tried my best, but I couldn’t get my name out there and make my dreams come true, I couldn’t be the idol I always wanted to be...)
(That’s how I felt every time I saw idols on TV.)
(I always thought “It’s not fair!”)
(Or “Why him and not me?!”)
(............)
(...I’m just a hopeless, ugly duckling)
Tatsumi: —Did you have a bad dream?
Aira: ……!? Y-You startled me! I thought my heart was gonna stop. Why do you always catch me off guard like that, Tattsun-senpai!?
Tatsumi: Pardon me. That wasn’t my intention in the slightest; it seems I have a bad habit of stepping in without considering the other party’s feelings. I’ll try to be more careful from now on.
Aira: Mhm… It’s okay though, I know you don’t mean any harm.
More importantly, were you watching me sleep that whole time…!? It’s embarrassing to have you looking at my sleeping face.
Tatsumi: Why are you so worried about this now? Were we not sharing a room throughout our summer break?
Aira: Some things are embarrassing no matter what! Like how Kohakucchi calls me “Rabu-han”¹...
Tatsumi: I see. By the way, I haven’t been watching you all day. In fact, I was working on a solo job until just now.
To be specific, it’s a minor role in a drama.
There was a sudden job opening, so I was in a rush to read the script and perform the role.
I won’t know the result until it airs, but I believe I did the very best I could.
Aira: Oh~ What’s the title of the drama? I’m definitely gonna watch it♪
Tatsumi: Fufu, I’m just a minor role without a title.
If I’m well received, it seems I may be given an official role as part of the regular cast.
However, recently ALKALOID has become quite busy, and I wouldn’t want to spread myself too thin.
Aira: S-Sorry, we’re dragging you down, aren’t we?
Tatsumi: Why would you say such a thing… The only thing holding me back is the pain I’ve suffered for my foolishness long ago.
No, even that tribulation will encourage the me of the present to reach even greater heights. It is a trial given to me by God— In other words, I believe it was love.
Aira: Hm~m, I think it’s pretty powerful, or like convenient, to pin it all on God when you’re troubled.
I shouldn’t say it’s convenient, but—
Tatsumi: No, that is what faith is all about in the first place. Faith is the key to deciphering and accepting the complex and mysterious aspects of our world.
The only difference is whether it is God or science that backs it up.
Aira: ...I’ve been thinking about this for a while now; despite the fact that you say a lot of religious things, it doesn’t really seem like you believe that God exists.
You explain things really clearly, like kinda scientific? It’s totally different from the image I had of someone who was religious.
Tatsumi: Fufu. Would you rather I say something like, “Those who don’t believe in God shall perish!”?
Incidentally, regarding the topic of the existence of God, I think everyone is quite preoccupied with the argument of if this being called God is real or not.
However, is there truly any meaning to such a discussion?
Even if this being called God truly does not exist on this earth, the current state of the world is being rewritten by those who believe in Him.
Churches are built, lifestyles are changed, and even wars are waged by those people. With God as the reason, and God as the argument, and God as the foundation for everything—
And I believe the power to change the world is called God.
No matter how much evidence is put forth that the being called God does not exist on this earth, that is no basis to deny the power of God.
Aira: ………...
Tatsumi: Pardon me, that is not the proper conversation to have with a child who has just awoken from his much needed rest. I’m sorry, this is a topic I’m quite interested in, so I got a bit carried away.
Aira: W-Well, I often drag you into my conversations about idols.
Tatsumi: Yes, you’re always teaching me new things.
When you're always living in a closed off world, one ends up forgetting to look at things from an objective point of view.
No. An outsider's perspective is difficult to come by, so ES formed the unit system and such to alter that status quo.
Through comparing ourselves to each other, we can learn more about ourselves.
